We are planning a short trip to Hong Kong next month. Among the documentation needed to get the Visa are the awful passport photos, those in which you have to face the camera, not laugh, have your face uncovered, wear glasses if you wear them, but they do not have to be too big and must be able to see your eyes. At the end, all the family went out with the same crappy expression: half smile that runs away but does not fall, eyes blocked as if we have seen a ghost and yellowish incarnate. In addition to this, Chinese people love white skin so to make you prettier they photoshop the photos. The result is that the whole Family looks sick.
The girl kindly makes me choose on the screen which of the 30 equal shots I prefer. I randomly point my finger and wait impatiently for the print. Instead, she welcomes me to the “perch” in front of the computer and starts “photoshoping” the perfect faces of my little girls. I understand doing it for my face wrinkles, but what do you want to fix in the smiling faces (yes they smiled even though I asked them to be serious and keep their eyes wide open.) How did they just came out without the hallucinated expression with no wrinkles and perfectly rounded shape?
To my husband she adds two centimeters of shoulder because he has a little droop. To me, of course, she stretches the skin face like I just came out from plastic surgery. To the girls she cuts off flying hair coming out of Hello Kitty pins.
This craze of retouching, extreme thinness, white milk skin, and aesthetic plastic surgery in Asia is absolutely bothering.
My friend illegally imports from Japan tubes containing human placenta, which is injected by a trusted nurse to delay cellular aging.
Another flew to Seoul to raise her eyelids because:
“You know, Korean plastic surgeons are definitely the best” (#beaware).
So, taken from the widespread aesthetic enthusiasm, I decided to give up the Nivea soft facial cream and to start using a specific anti-aging cream. Above all, I start using the famous Asian face masks, obviously the Korean ones because:
“We all import them from Korea, everyone know they are the best” (#beaware).
After the cucumber-flavored cleanse mask, the rose-flavored one then reshapes elasticity to the skin and then comes the regenerating pomegranate-flavored mask. Now I go crazy for that with black caviar (there is no known difference between cucumber and caviar, but it is much cooler) because:
“You know, black caviar rejuvenates your skin almost like a shot of a human placenta” (#beaware).
The only boredom is that you have to keep them on your face for 20 minutes every second day, so it becomes challenging. You can always save time by wearing them in the subway, I do not know why I never thought of it myself!