I like fruit very much, but I never eat it.
It is uncomfortable to peel and carry around: it warms, crushes, dribbles and stains.
To eat an orange you have to have a knife, remove the skin, open it with your fingers with the result that your hands will smell like oranges for two days, slip on the floor or on the desk if you are in the office. If you do not have a knife even underneath the nails become orange and you can say goodbye to your polish.
In China you have to peel the apples if you do not want get liver cancer. If you are not in China and trust the local farmers, you can bite it with the peel, but sometimes it hurts your teeth, and then let’s face it, apples are boring.
Grapes have seeds.
Nuts are impossibly hard to open. Plus I never have a nutcracker.
Peaches, plums, pears, mangos … all juicy and sneaking.
Do we want to talk about watermelon? Do we face the pineapple chapter? To open a coconut you need a machete, Durian is actually a chemical weapon.
The only easy-to-eat fruit is banana. It has a cheerful shape, does not need the knife, it does not smell, it does not slip, you can eat it in five minutes even if you have bad teeth, even if you do not have time. It has a soft and pasty consistency that makes you thirsty, so you will drink more water to rehydrate your body and fight the cellulite. Plus, it full of potassium.
Now that they have invented the banana holder for your bag, you can carry it around without crushing it.
I dream of a world full of banana-shaped fruit.
Yellow banana flavored.
Pink strawberry flavored.
Orange tangerine flavored.
Green apple flavored.
Purple grape flavored.
More bananas for everyone.
Ok then, I’m going to make a coffee because I don’t have bananas and other fruit I must peel it.